School of Meditation Weekly Teachings

Resistance by the Ego

We have seen how Evagrius’ demons all stem from our fear, our fear of not surviving, in fact, our fear of death. The moment we start to meditate the ‘ego’, our King and Queen of survival, goes into action. It does not like us entering the level of silence, where we will meet the ‘self’, the Christ within, as we will be out of its total control.

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Resistance Through Religious Conditioning

Our religious upbringing forms our inheritance of images of God, which may well be a further hindrance to us on the spiritual path. We must become aware of how our ideas about God are not only shaped by social and cultural factors but are also distorted by our conditioning, our personal fears, hopes and needs. They are often a product of our early childhood linked with our attitudes especially to parents and teachers. All images are a product of the ‘ego’. 

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Psychology and Spirituality

We have been exploring in the last few letters the importance of self-knowledge on two levels. Firstly we need to become aware of the wiles of the ego, “cleansing our doors of perception”, as William Blake called it. We noted the various images of self and God, which can hinder us on the path to the Divine. Secondly we need to remember that we are more; we also have another deeper spiritual level to our being, often called our true self. Learning to understand the ‘wounded ego’ is often seen as “merely psychological”, not spiritual.

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Effort versus Grace

Thomas sees Jesus guiding us by encouraging us to understand the teaching of his sayings, but also clearly laying the responsibility for our salvation on our own shoulders. Interestingly enough, finding the true interpretation of these sayings is similar to the deeply attentive reading of Scripture that Origen stressed, which according to him led to and was aided by contemplative prayer.

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Self-Consciousness Versus Self-Knowledge

The importance awarded to insight, resulting in true self-knowledge, is brought out by the essential advice given by spiritual teachers and philosophers throughout history: Man know thyself. We are encouraged not only to get to know the ‘ego’ and the way it is motivated, which will lead to the possibility of change, but also true ‘self’-knowledge, i.e. knowledge of the ‘Self’, awareness of our total being and of the Divine within.

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