To lose self means to lay aside those layers of identity which we call false, because they are impermanent. They are false only if we attribute permanence to them or we attach ourselves to them – I’ve got my rights; I’ve got my identity; I’ve got my position; treat me with more respect. That often comes out of the false self, a sense of self we are trying to defend or assert. That is part of our human, psychological development. The ego appears at a very young age, at two years old, and causes the parents tremendous suffering, and joy, until adolescence when it causes mere suffering. It has to be tolerated, and it can be tolerated because we can see it as part of an evolutionary emergent process. Where it cannot be tolerated is if this two-year-old ego self is still operating at the age of 70, as it can be, or at any stage in between. Then it is no longer charming.
( Finding Oneself 1 Laurence Freeman )
