If we can’t control the ego, then the ego will control us

We still have to be careful that we don’t fall back into the childish patterns of attachment – marry our father, marry our mother – and just want to create that kind of womb-like security again. So all this is human psychology, isn’t it? This is the self that we are trying to lose, it’s the attachment to temporary or transitional manifestations of our identity. As we learn to lay them aside –the most efficient way of doing that I think is meditation – life presents us with innumerable oppor-tunities to do it. Meditation is our choice to do this. And of course, once we have got used to doing it in meditation, it becomes easier to do it in daily life. We are able, for example, just to recognise what is taking over, what is controlling us with fear, with anger, with jealousy with bitterness, with whatever, the desire to control or possess. So we notice that and we say, ‘Ah I see that going on in my mind; I have to control it, I have to recognise it, and I have to bite my tongue, or I have to not send that email immediately, or I have to wait before I have that discussion.’ That’s self-control, which is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, fruits of meditation. If we can’t control the ego, then the ego will control us.