As we enter into the solitude of our own uniqueness, we naturally withdraw those parts of ourselves that we project outwards through fantasy on to others. That’s why our relationships change as we meditate day by day. But if we don’t withdraw those projections, then the “love”, in inverted commas, that we initially feel for those who become our idols or ideals, inevitably turns to hatred, to conflict. Sometimes you stay in relationship with those people or you continue to live with them anyway. We all know of relationships, marriages, where people have stayed together just fighting for thirty years, battling because they have disappointed each other in their initial expectations. We also know of many marriages, many relationships, many people in communities who have worked through those painful early stages of learning to love another.
(Aspects of Love 2 by Laurence Freeman OSB )
