We particularly need it to love others, because we need to be able to see the other as “other”. We can’t make that leap out of our own limited world view, unless we can see the other as being other than us. That’s the first step. The second step is to see that the other is not separate from us. But we need to come to that first perception, and therefore we need the ego, which is the process of separation. We need that development of the ego, particularly in those first few years, to separate from the womb, to separate from the breast, to separate from the mother and the father and the family and friends and so on — to be able to separate, and come to stand on our own feet, and learn to be able to take the risk of being ourselves. The ego is a necessary, psychological process which enables that separation to take place. It’s painful, it’s traumatic, but it is necessary.
( Aspects of Love 2 by Laurence Freeman OSB )
