Bram Ruiter combines a background in technology with a passion for theatre and theology. He spent four months in Bonnevaux to experience how a monastic rhythm can transform a person.
Hello, my name is Bram Ruiter from the Netherlands, and I would like to briefly share the impact that the thinking and writing of John Main have had on my life. To understand that impact, it helps to first sketch the path that led to it. I went through a long period of burnout—one that was essentially existential in nature.
I was raised in a church-going family, and from my teenage years onward I had a rich prayer life. This was deeply comforting to me, but it also created a sense of distance: my secular friends could not recognize or relate to what I was experiencing. My religious life existed largely outside their world. After finishing secondary school, I pursued a technical education. There I was surrounded by outspokenly atheistic professors, and over time I adopted their view of the human person: that we are ultimately nothing more than our brains, and that my religious experiences were therefore entirely self-generated. This was not a conclusion that brought me any joy, but I felt, intellectually, that I could not simply turn away from it. It left me confused, disillusioned, and exhausted.
I seemed to face a false choice. On the one hand, there were liberal voices who could say that Jesus did not literally rise from the dead. On the other hand, there were orthodox voices who appeared unaware of the intellectual challenges posed by modernity. Neither position felt inhabitable to me. And then there was John Main—or rather, Sicco Claus, a former teacher of mine who wrote a doctoral dissertation on John Main and led a WCCM meditation group. This meditation group showed me a way forward that moved beyond the usual divide between orthodox and liberal. Since joining that group, I have been reading John Main’s texts on a daily basis. At first I did so cautiously—almost distrustfully—because it all seemed too good to be true. I was afraid I would come across something that felt too narrowly religious or, on the other hand, too secularly liberal. Yet so far, John Main has managed, for me, to hold that balance in a remarkable way. His words have opened up a life-giving path. In his wake, a community has also emerged to which I feel deeply connected. I am glad to have spent several months living in Bonnevaux.
The favourite part of my stay has been the Lectio Divina with the Rule of Benedict—sharing together which phrases resonate with us and attempting to articulate why. This document stands in such stark contrast to the way of life in the secular Dutch society that it has offered me a rich opportunity for reflection. Reading the Rule is essentially an exploration of a relational perspective on the world, showing how this outlook permeates all kinds of practical matters. In this way, it reveals to me that my current approach to relationships with others, material possessions, and nature Bram Ruiter By Bram Ruiter Former volunteer at Bonnevaux, with a background in technology and a passion for theatre and theology. Finding an Integrated Path is often characterized by autonomy and efficiency. In contrast, life in a Benedictine monastery is shaped by a lifelong practice of attentive and intentional interaction with one another. I often hear despairing voices within me and around me concerning climate change and polarization, suggesting that we are like the Titanic heading for an iceberg, unable to change course.
And that is uncomfortable. It means stepping into unfamiliar territory, where you can no longer stand independently. So how do you do this? “Keep saying your mantra in all simplicity,” John Main says. Doing this within a community is a proven way to open your heart despite discomfort, fear, and alienation. It allows your being to expand, so that you can feel the world more deeply.
Music and silence have long been sources of inner space and resonance. Through guitar compositions, storytelling, and moments of stillness, Bram helps you pause and listen to the story that quietly lives within you in the next free talk of the series ‘Being Human, Being Real’ on 11 June, 2026.
This article is taken from the February / March 2026 issue of the WCCM Quarterly Journal.
